Google, T-Mobile and HTC invent English

Imagine for a moment that the year is 2008 BC and Google, T-Mobile and HTC get to get together and create a new language called English. "Its wonderful", they say. "It can be used for communication during business. Its open, any country can adopt it and change it as they see fit!" yada, yada, yada.
And its true. England, the US and Australia all want in. So they turn to HTC and T-Mobile to give us a platform to introduce English to the world.
They call together members of the press to announce their darling creation and what do they bring to the stage?

A half retarded, southerner with one leg named Andy. Sure he meets all the requirements; human, vocal cords, at least one eye, some type of self awareness. But something's off, he's not quite there. He talks with a drawl. He takes a bit too long to form sentences and has a slight stutter. He really can't remember all that much. He can sing but is off key unless you provide him with some other piece of equipment. He can't dance but is open to learning. Actually, he can't do much but is always open to learning as long as someone else teaches him. He "shur' as heck ain't gonna'" learn on his own. Oh, and to top it all off T-Mobile won't let him go any further than 1Km from his house without taking his other leg off. (But they'll reattach it at the beginning of the next billing cycle)

Andy, ambassador of English to the World! (I think the World might want to stick to the romantic languages)

This is what "The big G and the pink T" gave us yesterday. Some phone from 2005 with a flashy new interface. What is it about the G1/Dream that HTC needed so much time to develop? Sure the digital compass is new, but other than that it's a smart phone from before there was an iPhone. It seems that they didn't take any ideas from the iPhone at all. Why isn't the Touch HD the android phone? When you preemptively answer the "Why HTC" question in your press conference, you know things aren't going to go over well.

I'm sure the spin machines at those camps will try to say that "Oh, no this is better than the iPhone because it's open and unrestricted.." at first. Then when they get tired of saying that, they'll get angry and start with the "Well, this was never intended to be an iPhone killer."

Another underlying cause of concern for me is that Google didn't stop this train wreck. Either they seem to really be confident and are just treating this like another Google Beta or they don't care. Someone there had to know that this was not a good phone. No one voiced any concern? And to stand on stage, even with all the phone's shortcomings, and tout it as something so great in a post iPhone world is disheartening.

And T-Mobile, unless you have another android phone coming, I really think you've got yourself a Zune to At&t's iPod. Congratulations!

EDIT 9-24-08
T-Mobile has started taking steps in the right direction. They are reducing the 1Gb cap from a hard, fast rule to a reserved right for those that abuse the system. Also, phones after the first shipment will contain a 3.5mm headphone adapter.